Sum of all fears
crawl over
gurgling noises
from inside heard.
palpitation sets in
and sweats out.
I think uncanny
and speak weird.
fingers tremble
and knees shiver.
vision escapes
and the blur appears.
nustling sounds
echoed hollow
words leave &
senses deceive
appearing stark naked
before all eyes
when best dressed
In simple sinful touch
am estranged to myself.
And you,
You continue to coddle
while I asphyxiate inside
this orb of death...
Typos corrected and tweaked as suggested by a dear friend, thanks many for her service to proof read it free of charge ;)- Φ
14 comments:
Hmm...the tortured soul? Welcome to the club, mate :) But if such a soul produces sheer beauty, then can it ever remain a tortured one eternally?
Btw, read your mail several times :) As beautiful as your poetry...but still don't know what to reply. Will do so, one of these days...the procrastinator that I am :p
Good poetry! but bad spellings.. that too silly typing errors! :) careless you!
1)'Gurgling' noises
2) Vision 'escapes' and blur 'appears' would do better gramatically...
3)'bustling' sounds 'echo'
Suggestion: appoint me as your editor. will charge only $100 per poem.. hehehe..
Ok jokes apart,I must say, your use of words is fantastic...! i like the feel of these three words especially - coddle, asphyxiate and orb- it touches somehow...
Vidyanjali Sweetheart thanks for the typo and 's', but its not bustling dear..am not talking about noises..nustle is to fondle and that close-to-whisper sounds am talking about..
well well you look more than jus affordable for an editor..thanks but no thanks..
I don proof read em..cos am not in for some blogging thing..its more like a place to unload stuff off my head :)..thanks anyway..will make sure its corrected re-read and proof read the next post onwards..
oh! I neva knew such a word existed... good, got to learn a new word from you. Good vocabulary, I must say, u've got.. :)
"words leave &
senses deceive..." well written piece
hmm its ok to be 'silly', remember ;). you are welcome. I'll take that as a compliment. Needless to say bear with me,
I am a mistake so my scribbles are no exception..
Jyotsna thanks so much..glad to have you back
Hello Fish ( i dunno how to get that character that is your namesake for the moment), Read through your poems. And quite liked the darkness in your words.
The untitled one outshines in its timbre, i find it a lot better than the others.
Kudos!
:) you are a Shoutbox man!!
so u wer that fish...mm...wats the tag...i dont get it...
well written agn...
from d heart...
i too have one like this will post it soon...
i hate to abmit it bro! u sometime speak the words right outta ma mouth...great words ...greater expressions...excellent!!
Aakash Thanks :)
Vidyanjali Takes one to know one :)
Sophia Am waiting.. eagerly :)
Demi thanks a bunch..you r eternally gorgeous
Vidhu Gimme a hug then.. :)
poda..! :)
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