Clutches weaken
Under my hold
Bodies glued
In growing grip
Lips invade
Seeking each other's
Killing proximities
As they court .
Souls evade
From present
To the sanctuary of silence
How would I
Speak of this
Succulent pleasure
And its taste
If we continue
To suck life
From each others
Lips and eyes..
Breath escapes
Sighing petals
And enters mine
Filling me as we pause
Taking it in
I stare, at the slow
Revealing
Somnolent looking eyes,
Crescent too reveals
From under haze,
And us,
As under,
Holding still..
Consider not leaving
This, as providence
he continues
Architecting my demise.
22 comments:
DG.. ;-) thanks a bunch. Killer eyes..hmmm.. ;)
this is an intoxicating stuff
leathal...Gaud....loved it
hmmm....too much can be read into this...if i'm not mistaken, this poem was written immediately after making love...ahem ;)
Sophia thanks :)
Lo I wish I could tell you, yes 'twas written jus after that. But nope :)
aww :( that's sad. wonderful lines they r. i'm floored...yet again...at this rate i'll never get up from the floor :))
how many more efforts
to suck life,
as that tender kiss
gets a little out of hand...
how many more tries,
before we realize
that time will deposit us
on the shore
and move on swift
and it'll all happen as fated
not, as we so lovingly planned...
I like the breath descitpions of sighing petals and the double entanrdra of filling. very nice
Lo :) thanks much. glad u like this
Athena Awsome..that was a lovely piece. Know what you are the comment-poetry master..more than the main posts, your replies on these spaces are splendid..thanks much
Pecos Thanks much for dropping by. That was first perceived and then written..not felt ... ;)
wow...awesome!!!..btw changed my URL..its "smokingsentiment" instead of "smokingsentiments"...thnx for dropping by my blog...hope to see u there agen;-)
The atmosphere of this piece is fantastic and I really like the way it flows from one movement to another. What really got me about it was:
I stare, at the slow
Revealing
Somnolent looking eyes,
Crescent too reveals,
Really lovely. :-)
Mysterygal Thanks..:)
Extempore Hey thanks much man..
Sushmit nahhh... *damn he is right* :)
Sensual and intoxicating.
real nice one !
"he continues
Architecting my demise."
Ayvid :)
.:A:. Thanks much
Euphoric Dreamz Thanks a lot :)
You write about union so beautifully...
...it leaves me...remembering.
It is the most difficult thing on earth to pour out one's personal experience convincingly into words. And it is still more difficult to render words capable of taking the reader through the experience and making him/her feel it just the same or atleast provide something close to the original experience.
In writing this poem, dear frnd, you have accomplished both these arduous tasks for which, I think, I must congratulate you!
Excellent! :)
Free Spiritz Yep..even to me its jus a figment of my imagination..
Vidya thanks :)
I liked architecting my demise. However, when I read the poem aloud the rhythm broke at 'the sanctuary of silence' though I like the phrase? Let's see what you make of it.
Cheers
D
Dan Hmm yep it does, but idea was to focus on the content and not on the measure dan. As you said something else wud kept the flow intact..but then thats the fate of this one ;-) thanks much for ur suggestion
:)
Beautiful poem.
Time for a new one, eh? :))
really LOVE the ending...beautiful!!!
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